Help Wanted

Intern Needed!
Pay - nonexistent
Education/Experience:  No education necessary because you need to learn to do it my way,anyway.  If you have experience with kids, that's a plus, but then again I don't care, you'll get it anyway.
Benefits package to include physical exercise, blood, sweat and tears as well as emotional baggage you can take with you to your next job.


What, no takers?!


I'll start out by saying this post does have a happy ending.


Last night, I never got my book started, I was too busy cleaning out file cabinets, fun times.  Today I thought I would just go out and water the garden, come in and do dishes and get some sewing or reading time since it was expected to be very hot out, not a good day for garden chores.  One thing led to another and here I am at 7 p.m. and I still have a good hour's work ahead of me folding laundry!


Yes, it was one of those days.  I started off by watering early and hunting down any harvest.  I pulled one of the Mizuna Greens plants that looked a little mature, but when I tasted it I was surprised that it was just fine.  I washed those up for a surprising lettuce harvest along with some Red Zebra tomatoes.  It was already getting very humid and there was a heavy haze and odor in the air from the wildfires that have been burning just across the border in NC for the past month or so.  

After doing several loads of laundry, doing dishes and sweeping the floor I realized that I was low on bread.  Uh, huh... with two kids and a hubby we are always low on bread.  Since by now it was already 11 am I figured I could write off any "me" time for sewing or reading and instead use the day to make things to stock up on for the next few days so perhaps I could have "me time" tomorrow.

I'm noticing now that school's out I need to have a different strategy for my routine.  Normally, the kids don't see hubby during the week, since he works from mid-afternoon through the night.  Now, however, they wake up at 6:30 and proceed to run around the house until they force daddy to wake up with only a few hours' sleep so they can spend time with him before he leaves at 2 pm.  Now I have 3 boys running around the house in my way, doing nothing constructive, and it's really hard to get anything accomplished without having to get involved with whatever they are doing.  Maybe I'll start working nights, too?

Have any of you experienced this? - no matter how hard I try to stock up on cooking and baked food, it disappears at the same rate?

I baked 2 loaves of bread for the past 2 days, that's 4 loaves... why do I have only half a loaf left and had to bake more today?  I made the kids eggs and toast this morning, so I went ahead and hard boiled a few to have "extra" for healthy snacks they can get themselves over the next few days - they ate them today!  I need a separate kitchen with a lock on the door!  It totally defeats the purpose of "stocking up"!


And what's up with the constant fighting and shenanigans?  I understand they are bored, but the heat index is 107º today!!  I would love for someone to tell me to go sit DOWN and read a book or something LOL!


Instead I have to constantly walk into situations like this...

In between laundry and bread making, I made some strawberry ice cream to have on hand.  I thought I was going to be able to do this without them knowing about it, but I had to go switch loads of laundry and when I got back to the kitchen, there's Finn sticking a spatula into the moving ice cream maker... "I'm just trying to catch a strawberry mom, I'm starving"!  uh-huh, you're starving....

After this I threw the Green Tomato Pie away.  It was taking up valuable space in my fridge, nobody was eating it, nobody cares.  That led to taking the trash out, which then led to me having to scrub the trash can out since "something" leaked... yuck.

I then headed for the espresso machine for a fix, only to see that I was out of chocolate syrup.  Some of you know about my espresso addiction.  Yes, I do 8-10 shots a day.  I love my iced latte's with just a bit of chocolate.  I decided today I was done buying the chocolate syrup I use.  It's full of nasty stuff like corn syrup and I don't even like it anyways.  It's the reason that if I go to a coffee shop I have to ask for only ONE pump of chocolate, they always put half a bottle of sweet yucky syrup in there.  I actually like to taste my coffee, thank you, that's why I'm in a coffee shop!  Luckily I have an espresso machine at home to save $$ on my addiction, so now I am making my own syrup... dark chocolate syrup that is delicious!  

Well sorry, I guess there's no happy ending in this post after all, I need to go and fold laundry and put kids to bed, and I'm pretty sure I have ranted so long that you are now asleep or have moved on LOL!  Happy ending to my day will be in a separate post!

What It's Like...

Before you read any further, let me preface this by saying this post is in no way related to the garden and is not intended to offend any of you, my lovely readers! Rather, you are my trusted sounding board, and I look forward to every bit of advice, help, laughter and support that you are so good at providing! These "little things" I am about to rant about are normally vented through my trusted partner in life, and never seem to reach critical mass. Enter the problem: trusted friend/confidant/partner in life and parenting is currently deployed to the Middle East - that leaves you, my friends!

Letter to Random People Encountered Lately,

When you ask me what I do and I say "I'm a stay at home mom", don't be all condescending and tell me how much you want to do that but then you couldn't afford the $700 worth of after school crap your kids are enrolled in and the latest styles for them. That's passive aggressive, and it's unattractive. Why do you feel the need to justify working to me? I don't think any less of you for working and many times I wish I could go work with adults all day and regain an important spot in the workforce. After school crap and clothes, though? Pick a different excuse, that one sucks.

Don't assume things about me because I am not wearing a wedding ring. You don't know me - my husband does. I worked in an environment for many years that would not allow jewelry to be worn due to safety issues, good thing because I hate jewelry, all kinds - my husband knows this, that is why you will only see me wearing the silver WalMart plain band that I requested, not him, only on "special" occasions. I will say it again, I hate jewelry. But the fact that you would notice such a thing and actually comment on it is kind of disturbing - where's your own personal "governor"?

When you ask at a school/afterschool event where my husband/the kids' father is, don't tsk-tsk and feel sorry for me because he is deployed. He is doing a job that he loves, that his family supports, and one that earns an honest living for his family. No, it's not like being divorced, no, it's not like he has abandoned the kids! My kids have a loving father, I have a great husband who does all he can for us, and I think that's awesome, not sad. We may need the support of friends sometimes, but don't give us sympathy like he just abandoned us, and PLEASE stop saying stupid stuff like that in front of my kids!

Hey Sam's Club lady with the big flatbed full of junk food who commented upon hearing the cashier tell me my total of $74.36 today and following it up with "I could never be a bargain shopper, I can never get out of here for under $500.oo".... It shows! I hope you choke on the 7 cases of Jimmy Dean sausages and 10 cases of Moon Pies ya got there. Passive Aggressiveness Sucks Lady

When my kid begs for a ridiculous item at a store and you overhear me saying "no", don't say "Awwwww, but he's so cute!" So???? So that means he gets everything he wants? Mind your own business and you might want to work on your kids there, like the one letting all the bouncy balls out of the cage and the other stomping her foot and screaming that she hates you, yeah, is this supposed to help convince me to buy my kids more crap they don't need? It's not working and mind your own business.

When you park next to me in your big Escalade that you can't see out of the window in, don't hop out and say "What a cute car, I could NEVER fit all my stuff in there, though". Reality Check: It's an Outback, a damn station wagon, don't be an idiot. What did your parents drive you around in? Why don't you ask them? My mom toted all of us around in a VW Bug, cross country even while in the military... but apparently Escalades have been around since. like "for-EV-ER"... someone should have told my mom. And also, bragging about how much less mileage you get in an effort to be more affluent than me.... stupid. I'll say it yet again, passive aggressiveness sucks

Yours Truly,

The lady who doesn't have her husband here to talk her down off the ledge. That's right, I just may call you out in public one day, there's no one to stop me from losing it except a couple of little kids, and they aren't that effective yet...

Are you guys still reading? I am amazed, you are true friends! This helped so much I may make it a monthly feature, at least until my beloved sounding board returns home. Feel free to add whatever makes you crazy!