right now

right now

Jun 16, 2011

The writing is on the wall...

How easily it all can turn.  I had some stunning seedlings this year, some of the best ever, actually.  I really felt this was going to be the best year ever for tomatoes.  I had more growth than I'd ever seen, strong stems, was religious about trimming them and supporting them, and I'd never seen so much fruit set before.  

Today I actually cried.  At first I just picked up my shears (always disinfected nowadays) and started trimming off the blight exactly where I stopped yesterday, and the day before.  The spray is having no effect, and it's spreading.  As I watched the leaves pile up in the trash I just sat down on the raised bed and cried.  I've never cried over the garden before, I feel like a crazy lady!  


Of course the truth is I could go to the Farmer's Market to buy tomatoes, but my job is to grow food for my family.  I pride myself on my ability to grow, preserve and serve as much of my hard work as possible and even though I know it happens to everyone sooner or later, I feel like a failure!  There's no way I could ever afford to buy farmer's market tomatoes for canning (can you imagine purchasing a few hundred pounds?!) and I really wouldn't even want to, even those sit around for awhile and aren't as fresh as mine, and damnit, it's just not the same!  So what do I do, give up for the year?

Here's the update:

The entire Amish Paste bed looks as if it will be ripped out this weekend.  Definitely 2 of the 3 Red Zebra will have to go.  I found 2 branches on the bottom of a Hillbilly plant, and even found signs on the Brandywines tonight that weren't there at 2 pm today.


Above, 4 total Amish Paste have now been removed.  Below, just hoping some of these will ripen before I yank the rest of the bed.  There are loads of fruit on these, but every hour it seems there are more branches yellow and dead.


The Brandywines look amazing in the below photo taken today about 1 pm, but this evening I pulled 2 lower branches on the back side and sprayed the remaining drops of copper fungicide I had.  I will probably go out and buy some more to try and save these, the Amish Paste were too far gone by the time I sprayed them.  I can't really afford to do this, though, at what point do I call "time"?!


I've been kind of a zombie all afternoon and evening, my poor kids know something is up - I'm short tempered and on the verge of tears every time I look out the back door.  How crazy is that?  To be crying over some tomato plants?  I even tried to look at the bright side, it obviously means that this type of life and eating is the norm here, the food I grow is the only source of vegetables, I haven't been to the produce section of a grocery store for veggies in over 2 years except onions and potatoes.  I think this is why I'm affected so badly, I pride myself on having good things stashed away for winter and it looks like I may have nothing to show for my efforts this year.  I've also noticed 2 leaves on my pepper plants that look the same tonight.  But at what point am I just seeing blight everywhere I look, no matter if it's real or not LOL?

Should I attempt to grow more seedlings from a resistant variety?  Should I buy resistant "big box" varieties of unknown origin (yikes)?  Do I give up on tomatoes this year?  I will definitely have to grow resistant hybrids for the next couple of years probably until it's out of the soil, unless we get some consistent 20 degree weather this winter, that's unlikely.  At least I have time before next year to find resistant varieties that come from a responsible source.  

Since I felt particularly unlucky today, hubby and Finn planted my gourd and zucchini seedlings for me :)


Finn hugged me and told me he was sad for my tomatoes too, and that he named his plant, it's an Ornamental Gourd he called "Mental Gourds" and the zucchini is "Pythorius Redonculus"... which means absolutely nothing but is so cute I had to laugh.


As a sidenote:  Sometimes I feel like the family doesn't notice or appreciate all the hard work that goes into what arrives on their plates and fills the cupboards and freezer.  I often feel like tapping the mike..."hey, is this thing on??"  Then Loch came home with a letter he had written that his teacher had sent home today, this darn near made me a sobbing mess, but it's why I do what I do, and wow... the kid notices!
  

Thanks in advance for your kind words, I know they are headed my way and that's the reason I had to vent this evening!  I never feel in competition with any of my blogger family and feel utterly comfortable in sharing my failures, I know we all have them sooner than later, but it sure does seem many of us are having more than our share in 2011.  Honestly, when I was trimming blight I thought of how fun it would be for everyone to bring their blight, bugs, downed trees and drowned seedlings to a group bonfire, we could all pass a bottle while throwing our stuff to the fire and having a little chit chat with Mother Nature!

p.s.  don't worry, I'm sure the big girl panties will show up soon and I will put them on and brush myself off and come up with a plan!  :)

Here's another kicker:  I'm hosting a garden party Saturday night for a local group of gardeners, looks like they'll be able to get a better visual of disease symptoms than they can get from textbook photos!

28 comments:

  1. Do you know how hard it will be to cook dinner tonight? I won't be able to find the stove, through the tears in my eyes. Nobody tries harder than you, Erin, and 99% of the time you succeed. Sweet Loch, he knows how much you put into making a home from a house and a family from a group of humans....and a garden from a dirt pile. This setback is overwhelming you for the moment, but we all know your strength, and that you'll overcome the hardships that are hitting your garden now. It's not your fault Mother Nature kicked you in the shins. Do what you can to kick her back.

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  2. Erin, I really don't know what to say. Just put on those big girl panties and do what ever you have to do!!!

    I have to say that you do such a wonderful job with absolutely everything!!! You are a great mother!! That is the most important thing in the whole wide world. It definitely shows with your children and your husband. Lots of hugs for you tonight.....and maybe a good strong "Big Girl" drink...or more!

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  3. Well you know I can relate. It is so frustrating when you do try to grow all your own food, and then you have a year like this. When you think about it, it is amazing we get any food at all when you look at all the things we have to battle. We all have shed some tears this year. Your not alone.

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  4. Granny, you are too sweet! Hearing from lifelong gardeners like yourself gives me hope that this too, will pass! Darn tomatoes... it seems a Southern gardener is judge wholly by the heirloom tomatoes he/she grows, but what about my other stuff? LOL... I think my banner snap pea year is why the blight happened... a freakishly cool and damp May, peas loved it, tomatoes, not so much.
    ***
    Robin, hugs are appreciated! I'm looking for the big girl drawers and wellies now :)
    ***
    Jane, you are right it truly is amazing when you look at it like that - weather and bugs and bacteria are working 24/7 but we're only out there for a few hours a day. I'm spent - been googling stuff I already know looking for some "magic" LOL, I think I'll go sit down with a book now. Instead of resuming my book about the evils of government getting involved with raw milk tonight I think I'll find a trashy beach novel :)

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  5. Hugs! I can't offer much more. I'm not sure how my garden is going to be this year. It's always a gamble- like Jane said- it's a miracle we get anything at all. But we always have hope. That's what keeps us coming back year after year- failures and all. I'm dreading next year when the garden rotation takes me back to the section where I had such a bad time with late blight the first year we were here. But, I will mulch the heck out of it and hope for the best... I'm hoping for enough this year to carry me through next year if necessary. Oh dear, I'm counting my quarts before the tomatoes have even set on a single fruit. Ugh....
    So far this year, my garden has been a pretty dismal failure. But it still makes me sad to see others who have worked so hard still get screwed by mother nature... sigh- the life of a gardener.

    Oh, and Loch's letter was 'da bomb'!!

    Judy

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  6. Oh, Erin! I wish I could give you a big hug and tell you, sister, you are so not alone! I cry over my garden ALL THE TIME!!! You are such an inspiration for so many people, including your family (that note from your son reinforces what an AMAZING job you're doing!) and I know you'll figure this thing out. I wish I could give you some advice, but I'm always coming to you for pointers! As everyone has noted now and before, this is a tough, tough year for growing. But if you haven't bought anything from the produce section in two years, you are more self-sufficient than 99% of the population! And you're doing it in your backyard!!! I know you're used to working hard and seeing results, but as you know Nature doesn't play by our rules. Hang in their girlfriend -- and if you get that bonfire planned, I'll be there with my Japanese beetles, squash bugs, sad seedlings and downed trees. xo

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  7. P.S. And yes, go for that trashy beach novel and a "big girl" bevvie :)

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  8. My tomatoes looked beautiful until they started turning yellow. I couldn't cut the yellow leaves off fast enough. Then they turned crunchy and died. Now I am looking for recipes for green tomatoes. So sad, now I'm gonna cry.

    Gardening is crazy but I'm going to keep trying.

    Keep your chin up.

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  9. P.P.S. Could you harvest the remaining green tomatoes now and ripen them off the vine? We did that two years ago when we were hit with a super short season and an early frost. We picked all the tomatoes and put them in cardboard boxes between sheets of newspapers. I'd say 90% of them ripened beautifully!

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  10. I was doing okay until I got to the part of Loch's letter when he told of how you turned your backyard into a "farm." How precious. Kids (and, yes, even husbands) notice more than we think.

    You hit the nail on the head when you spoke of gardening and preserving being a huge part of what you do, how you provide for your family.

    No one who has not gardened would understand a lot of what we go through. The year grasshoppers ate everything in our garden and there wasn't a blasted thing I could do about it, I cried too. A non-gardener told me she thought it was stupid to cry over something like a garden. Well.

    As soon as I stop crying now, I'm going to go pour two glasses of wine. I'll drink them both and pretend we're drinking together. This too will pass, dear friend.

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  11. I was saddened today in my garden to see the wind broke another of Matthew's sunflowers and 2 of my yard long noodle beans! I know that's nothing compared to your battle, but we really are all in it together this year. You have an awesome little boy there, like you didn't know it already. ;) Hang in there! (Wish I had an adult beverage in the house, I'd toast in your direction!)

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  12. Judy, I know you've had such a tough go with the weather this year! I'm already stressed over what to do next year... there's no rotation here that's far enough LOL
    ***
    Fiona, thank you for the kind words - I hope they will look back some dad and have learned a little something from mom, I have to admit I'm more than a little curious as to what the weather will be like this winter.

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  13. Peggi, so sorry to hear that! It's so frustrating, so much time and effort and Mother Nature just laughs at us - I guess she gets tired too and some years says "the heck with it"!
    ***
    Mama Pea, it is a little crazy when I realize that the thought didn't cross my mind for an hour or so that I could "purchase" tomatoes LOL what a concept, I know I'll survive even if I have to do pots of grape tomatoes on the deck and settle for jars of sundried tomatoes for hummus this winter. See? I'm already putting those big girl panties on :)
    ***
    Author, I saw your post today and I was in such a foul mood from the garden I didn't want to comment LOL...honestly I almost cried again when I saw his little broken sunflowers! Yep, I'm a mess today... when I'm knee deep in pickles maybe I'll forget about the tomatoes? :)

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  14. Well...crap. I'm sorry about the tomatoes. The letter, however, is priceless.
    Ribbit

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  15. Awww that just sucks about your blight. I've never encountered it so I had to look it up. Sounds like it's very difficult to get rid of and you'll have to plant your tomatoes in a different area next year to avoid getting it again. Stupid fungus!
    That letters a keeper!

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  16. Wow. I'm so sorry. You really have such a great garden....but Mother Nature has some cruel tricks up her sleeve. Blight is such a nasty nasty disease. I totally understand (as does EVERYONE that reads this blog). They aren't just plants...they are our food, our FUN, everything. Pour a stiff one and move on. Again, so so sorry . Friggin Blight!!!

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  17. Erin, Loch's letter was awesome! We appreciate your gardening and sharing of your successes and troubles, too. I've never successfully grown tomatoes--I've never had outdoor space to try them! But it's one of those crops that, sometimes, it's just really hard to save. You grow them well, and you are doing so much to save them this year. Next year, maybe rotate them to a different spot and get varieties that are listed as resistant (I'm sure there are heirloom ones), and see what happens! You grow a heck of a lot of tomatoes, but maybe growing a few in containers could be an option--as long as you don't use soil from the garden!

    I haven't blogged about this, yet (I'm writing right now), but I dropped almost every single plant I own two days ago. Onto the stone hallway floor. They were in a jumble of soil, pots, and broken stems. I had a moment of wanting to just throw everything away and giving up--but I worked too hard to bring them here, I worked too hard to keep them alive, and I sure as hell worked too hard to abandon them! You work too hard, too. The tomatoes may not produce as prolifically for you this year--but you will kick their butts next year!

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  18. Ribbit, Loch's letter was definitely a much needed surprise!
    ***
    Sparkless, sadly my tomato beds were separated into 3 sections this year, so there's no rotation that would work in such a small space, but I can hope for a really cold winter to kill the spores, or spray preventatively next year. It was a nice few years' run without having to spray for anything though LOL
    ***
    Sue, I consider myself lucky a little bit that when everyone was battling the huge outbreak of blight in 2009 I didn't get it - there's no rhyme or reason I guess :)

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  19. Kenneth, oh no! I can just see your face as that was happening, all that trouble you went through to get all the plants overseas. I'm sure you'll pick up the pieces (literally) and move on, as I will. I will definitely be planting some resistant varieties for a few years, and trying some determinate types in pots. I really hope some of the new gardeners out there don't get discouraged and at least have a few good years before having to deal with stuff like this. It's so nice to see people start gardening I want to say "it's not always like this, I promise"! :)

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  20. I'm so sorry Erin. (((hugs))) I go with Homestead here. They stand up pretty well to the high temps for months on end and they're pretty good against a lot of the virus strains.

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  21. My plan would be to cry, swear lots, throw a few things and then do the following:

    1.) Harvest all green tomatoes and go on a mad canning mission. SO many great green tomato relishes and salsas to be made. You can even make mincemeat, but I know you don't like sweet.

    2.) Buy a few hybrids, plant them in a different bed or it containers and keep my fingers crossed I end up with enough tomatoes for fresh eating over the summer.

    3.) Buy canned tomatoes at the grocer when they go on sale. :)

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  22. Dani, thanks for the tip! I'll look into those - I also hear Juliet are very resistant as well as a couple of heirlooms worked on by NC State called "Old Brooks" and "Mountain Fresh"... I'll be purchasing those seeds for next year.
    ***
    Kelly, well I did throw things and swear so I guess it's time for action LOL! I will definitely do all you suggested, I was looking at pickled green tomatoes last night, I'm headed out to see if there are any Juliet seedlings to be had around town still, and yep, I'll be stocking up on canned tomatoes - maybe I'll have the kids make paper labels so I don't have to look at the commercial names on the can LOL!


    THANK YOU ALL! The big girl panties are ON, and I'm headed out for spray and a search for seedlings, then will be pulling the green ones today and trashing the plants... and it's in the 90's again, sigh...

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  23. Erin, can you solarize the soil? Also, I guess removing it from the infected beds and replaces with new for next year is unpleasant, but viable option.

    Farmgirl Fare has a great green tomato recipe that we love on tacos, nachos etc....you may want to check it out as well. Good luck!!!!!

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  24. I AM ALWAYS A DAY LATE AND A DOLLAR SHORT,BUT AM THINKING ABOUT YOU AND YOUR AWESOME FAMILY

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  25. Sorry, must learn to proof-read.

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  26. Oh Erin, I'm so so sorry. If we lived a little closer, I'd be there in a second with a bottle of wine, some matches and a whole bunch of disease or bug infested plants. It just sucks when you put so much time and effort into the garden and then things just seem to go from bad to worse. Hang in there though, things like that have happened before, and sadly they'll probably will again.
    Loch's letter is awesome! See, all the things you do are noticed!!
    Sorry, still have some computer issues and this is the only way I can comment right now...
    Anke

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  27. Erin-
    I can totally understand crying over your garden. I think that when that's "what you do" it is very frustrating when your hard work doesn't produce the desired results. Especially when it means you have to buy (and pay for) an inferior product because of it. I've been right there with you this season, especially since I'm very much hoping the garden will pay big in produce to last us at least part of the winter as well. It's a LOT of work, even if you do enjoy it.
    I love Loch's letter! So sweet, and you're a hero to him for sure. After all, who else can say they have a farm in the back yard!? :)

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  28. Awe! First off, that was the sweetest letter I have ever seen. You must have been so incredibly proud! Just when you think your efforts go unnoticed...that's a doozie! You are great parents!

    And ya know, all the troubles going on out there, I just don't know what to make of it. It's a real stumper this year and we are all getting way-layed in one form or another. I do think a big party would be wonderful! Nothing but love out there for you girl! (and I am seeing signs of blight now too...aaaagh!!!)

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